Outside it seems so heartwarming ,
Inside it seems so heartbreaking .
Whats so nice abt my family?
Fun ? i created it.
Laughter ? i made it.
Smiles ? i brought it.
Love ? i'm giving it.
What i get in return?
Scoldings , Naggings.
I respected you two as my parents thts why i kept quiet & said nothing.
I've tried my best..
You two doesn't agree?
Thts YOUR business.
I'm sure mummy's results isn't better than mine.
I'm sure daddy's results....... nah , he doesn't have.
Daddy dropped out of school in sec one within 3 months.
YET , what rights does he have to comment abt me?
I didn't fight , I didn't get into trouble , I didn't mess w my teachers.
I'm controlling myself.
I just hate studying.
But at least.. i'm trying to pass all of them.
I pass , you're not happy.
I brought myself out of F9s , you're angry w me.
What else?
I read my storybooks , you ask me not to read.
What th hell you wanna squeeze out from me?
Till one day tht i wanna commit suicide right?
You're afraid tht korkor will ,
You sure i won't ?
I've cut myself so many bloody times , did you even realise?
I told you i play till i accidentally cut myself & you believed.
Korkor doesn't spend time w you , you complain.
I spend time w you & doesn't score well , you also complain.
What you want?
Probably i'll go back to church & tell you i'm a christian so tht you'll be so glad tht i'm not gonna mess w you again?
I've got out of relationship & now you wanna stress an ass out of me?
You sure korkor didn't scored average?
HAHAHA What a joke.
YESYES , HE SCORED ALL TH F-ING As & Bs.
HELL YEAHHH~ I remembered seeing it ONCE.
& He bloody hell failed his english tht time.
You said nothing even though it was EOY.
Its th same thing.
I add in more effort in tht subject , there's comfirm a drop in other subject.
If i ever were to ask you to study my paper ,
Will you even understand a fyking bit abt it?
I doubt you understand [:
Yes , you see your daughter strong everytime.
But have you even see her breakdown in her own room ?
The way i cried , nobody sees it.
The way i cut , nobody notice it.
The way i smile , nobody realise tht its different.
I'm so sick & tired.
I don't wanna get home before 9pm anymore.
I'll hide in my auntie house bahs..
So sick & tired of everything & anything.
I miss tht guy ,
I miss my friends ,
I miss my innocence ,
I miss my gong-ness ,
I miss my laughters ,
I miss my smiles ,
I miss my used-to-be ,
I miss my everything.
But who understands me?
I need tht guy ,
I need th family love ,
I need my friends' love ,
I need my used-to-be ,
I need my happy-go-lucky self ,
I need my PILLAR OF STRENGTH
when will you talk to me again?
i miss you..
I need my peaceful-ness ,
I need everything.
But what will be in my hands once again?
How i wish i can strong..
How i wish people will recognise me for my efforts..

How i wish you'll kiss me like there's no tomorrow again..

How i wish you'll whisper ' i love you ' in my ears again..

How i wish you'll hug me tight again..

How i wish you'll hold me wherever i go again..

How i wish you'll sing me songs again..

How i wish you'll be mine once again..

How i wish you'll trap me like i'll be trapped forever again..

How i wish you'll hold me in your arms again..

How i wish i'll be someone else..

So many 'How i wish ' but which one will actually come true?

I bet.. none.

& , HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JEREMIAH DING LIAN KOK.

You're older today alr.

Don't get over stressed.

& yes , i understand why you're doing it.

I'll just.. let go bahs..

I'll cheer up & thanks for being there for me.

I'll always be there for you too alrights [:

Smiles & enjoy your day w your friends [:

& Nelson..

Will you everever talk to me again?

You knw you're my pillar of strength.

You're my best listening ear.

After you left..

I'm down..

I've lost my ' i'll stand strong no matter what '

Will you be my best kor once again..?

Hais..